Author Topic: M.O.T.H.E.R: Testing Raiders' Resistance to Extreme Awards  (Read 480 times)


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M.O.T.H.E.R: Testing Raiders' Resistance to Extreme Awards
« on: November 05, 2018, 08:08:27 AM »
For days you have waited. All the relationships ruined with the outside world. The slowly depreciating living conditions caused by the endless waiting, on the edge of your seat, for the next set of the absolutely riveting Zappies. Hoping, praying, that you too had proved your worth Odyn. I am God King Skovald! These mortals dare not challenge my claim to the Aegis!

Whoa, blacked out for a moment there. Where was I? Oh yes, the second round of Zappy awards for the Matron of Tenacity, Herald of Endless Research!

The categories are:
  • The But My Parse... Award: This award is granted to the raiders who sacrificed their ability to parse just so we could kill the boss.
  • The Check Out My Parse Award: This award is granted to the raider who just tunneled the boss the entire fight because our raid leader let him/her.
  • The Organization is Key Award: This award is granted to the raider who best demonstrated how important an organized strategy is to defeating this boss.
  • Kunai with Chain: This magic card is the only magic card in Joey's entire deck, like where the fuck did he learn to play Duel Monsters even?!

Let's jump right into the first category, the rich and fulfilling But My Parse... Award!

You guys know what sucks real bad? Having to be in the first group of people to cross the barriers on this fight. You're never gonna parse with such little uptime on the boss, and you don't even get good uptime on the adds because the goal is to blow them up super fast. Without these unsung but now sung because I am singing about them heroes, we would never be able to kill the boss though. We need these players to traverse the barrier and get some lock down stuns on the blobbies that everyone else who gets to parse spawns when they cross the barriers later on. As a measure of thanks to these players going above and beyond to achieve a completely mediocre parse, we would like to congratulate...

Gale, Litto, Xannathos, and Hambonebob! Not Ellyana and Glaiverunner though because they parsed well anyway.

You may bring any frustrations regarding receiving this award to Xannathos, as it as his decision to cripple you all on this fight.

Our second award is the worshiped and mythical Check Out My Parse Award!

This award goes to the selfish son of a bitch that just sat in the room as long as they could, again on Xannathos' orders. If you did not receive this award and are upset about it, you may again direct your complaints to Xannathos. One player above all others tunneled the shit out of the boss on our first kill, and is of course most deserving of this award. So without further delay, congratulations to...


Warbus achieved a superb 97 percentile on our first kill of this boss, while the rest of us all suffered (except Joms who gets an honorable mention here with a 96). Again, if this upsets any of you, don't forget to cry at Xannathos about it. That doesn't seem to be working out for Diablo fans at the moment but it's still worth a shot.

The final award for this ceremony is the rare and valuable Organization is Key Award!

In many raid tiers, there is often a specific boss that demands an above and beyond performance from the guild's raid leader. In Emerald Nightmare, this boss was Xavius. He was followed by Desolate Host in Tomb of Sargeras, who again was followed by Eonar in Antorus. Mother is the Uldir equivalent to these bosses, who ask more than usual of the raid leader. Mostly, it's just really really annoying to have to redo the AA for every single different composition of raiders that we bring week to week for these kinds of bosses. As a way of showing our appreciation to Xannathos's raid leading thus far, the Zappy award for the category of Organization is Key goes to...

Gronnsbane! No I'm just kidding it goes to Xannathos of course, weren't you even reading the part above?

Thank you all for reading, keep it up, let's try to be focused and on target tonight so we can reclear Zek'Vectis, and I will see you all at the awards ceremony for Zek'Voz! Congratulations to the winners!
« Last Edit: November 05, 2018, 08:48:11 AM by Gronnsbane »


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Re: M.O.T.H.E.R: Testing Raiders' Resistance to Extreme Awards
« Reply #1 on: November 05, 2018, 05:36:00 PM »
Where do I smash that like button


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Re: M.O.T.H.E.R: Testing Raiders' Resistance to Extreme Awards
« Reply #2 on: November 05, 2018, 06:35:41 PM »
I am offended, where is my safe space ><


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Re: M.O.T.H.E.R: Testing Raiders' Resistance to Extreme Awards
« Reply #3 on: November 08, 2018, 03:08:21 PM »
Where is my prize? :D congrats to everybody!
I could build... I could build a... I could build a... I could build a spaceship!